Birthing Death

Read this compelling real-life drama and you will be more deeply equipped to insure the best medical care for your loved one, even at death's door and survive this journey that will take you to the edge or your strength. This work is a unique contribution in that it combines: (1) the emotional experience of the primary caregiver in witnessing a dying loved one, (2) the gut-busting experiences of family disagreements, (3) advocacy and legal tips to insure quality care, and most importantly, (3) a re-framing of the entire experience into the most sacred of spiritual journeys. Because she is an Elder Law Attorney, Geriatric Care Manager, and perhaps most importantly, a long-time caregiver, author Sue Fabian relays this human experience fully laid bare, hoping to lend a helping hand to those crossing similar bridges. She also helps readers understand that this is a most sacred moment--helping to birth your loved one into the next world through the death of their human body. This book describes the twenty-seven day vigil the author took in assisting her dying mother through her final journey, after 22 years of caregiving. Through her decades of personal and professional experience and having worked with hundreds of families, she offers readers a wealth of backpack tools to walk this painful path with eyes and heart open, and keep venturing with their loved one right up to the horizon of this life and the next.
About the Author: Humble beginnings and deep challenges forged this twenty-two year and twenty-seven day caregiver in southeast Michigan. Sue was born into a working class family where her father had an eighth-grade education and her mother was fortunate enough to graduate from high school. Her maternal grandparents were equally from meager backgrounds, with third and eighth grade educations as they were farmers in Wisconsin. Her paternal grandparents immigrated from Croatia's agrarian Istrian peninsula. Tragedy struck early, when Sue's father died at the age of forty-eight from cancer, leaving a young mother and three children from ages nine to sixteen-Sue being the youngest. Education was never stressed for Sue. Yet, she managed to be the first female in her ancestral pedigree to complete college, graduating Cum Laude and Departmental Honors with a Bachelor of Psychology from Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan in 1976. She went on to earn a Master of Education/Guidance and Counseling from the University of Windsor, Canada in 1980, and gained Licensed Professional Counselor status in Michigan. During this time, she worked for Focus: HOPE-a civil and human rights organization rising from the ashes of Detroit's 1967 riots, and helped launch the nation's first supplemental food program for seniors who otherwise were perpetually faced with the economic choice of buying food or medication. Then in early October of 1990, she took the aptitude test for law school, not knowing whether her mother would survive the day when her mother suffered a massive stroke at the age of sixty-eight. She was not expected to survive. Thus began Sue's caregiving saga, culminating in this near-month vigil of her mother's last days. From Day 1 of entering law school, Sue knew she wanted to specialize in Elder Law and began a campaign in law school to bring elder law into Wayne State University's School of Law curriculum. She won, when by her senior year in 1999, the class was finally taught. During this time, Sue won the Outstanding Woman Law Student award for her school, and earned a Certificate in Gerontology from Wayne State's Institute of Gerontology and launched her own Geriatric Care Management practice. Immediately upon passing the bar exam, she hung up her shingle as a solo practitioner in Elder Law, published material about determining capacity in Michigan's Institute of Continuing Legal Education, and enjoys riding her motorcycle for down time!