WARNING: The author's continuing exposure to society's pervasive commercialism has rendered her completely incapable of writing a description for this book that doesn't sound trite and formulaic. Because she realizes that trite and formulaic advertisements are becoming increasingly disfavored by consumers, she has opted to conscientiously abstain from any such marketing ploy. However, if she had not opted to conscientiously abstain from any such marketing ploy, the book's trite and formulaic description would have read as follows: Gas prices got you down? For a limited time only, you can buy the futuristic science fiction roller-coaster ride of hilarity, "A Book That Lives Up To Its Title"! This potentially instant classic, virtually guaranteed to appreciate in value, is sure to provide countless hours of non-stop entertainment. You'll want to tell all of your friends about this mental explosion of fun! DON'T MISS THIS MUST-READ NOVEL! Operators are standing by - Act now!
About the Author: As a small child, Suzanna Hartzell-Baird enjoyed riding her bicycle and spending time with a voluminous doll collection, most of whom were discontent with their sheltered plastic existences. In junior high, she began falsely telling her classmates that her middle name was "Louanna," because she incorrectly assumed that people would find rhyming names amusing. Her sense of humor continued to diminish during high school, and it bottomed-out in 2004 when she earned her undergraduate degree in finance and accounting from Indiana University Purdue University at Indianapolis, where she graduated ranked first in her class. Three years later, she earned a law degree at Indiana University - Indianapolis, graduating a distant second in her class. Suzanna feels no bitterness about her second place finish because, in the end, one is the loneliest number. Although law school did little to improve her humor, it did give Suzanna the opportunity to publish her first literary work, a masterpiece entitled, "When Sex Doesn't Sell: Mitigating the Damaging Effect of Megan's Law on Property Values." Unfortunately, despite the provocative title, few people outside of the legal profession considered the article a "page-turner," and Suzanna was devastated when the Winter 2006 issue of The Real Estate Law Journal failed to appear on Oprah Winfrey's Book of the Month Club recommended reading list. In her spare time, Suzanna practices law in the fifteenth largest state in the nation and spends hours tending to an army of unfriendly cats that were gifted to her by the previous owners of her residence. Although rather unresponsive and seemingly unimpressed by her, Suzanna affectionately named the ringleader of these cats "Friendo." Suzanna is also the proud sister to a cat named Buddy, adopted by Suzanna's mother in 2006, and has one inconsequential human brother. Both her mother and inconsequential brother copied her ambition of attending law school, the former doing so preemptively before Suzanna had the opportunity to attend. At the time of publication of this book, Suzanna proudly boasts an excess of forty websites, not originated by herself, touting her various accomplishments and/or character flaws. For more information, type the phrase "Suzanna Hartzell-Baird" into the Internet search engine of your choice. As for the future, Suzanna aspires to someday have her very own Wikipedia(r) page.