We have all had toxic people drawn to reasonable people and all of us have likely had (or have) at least one person in our lives who have damaged us and left us to question what did I do? Damage from toxic people can be so subtle from lies to you constantly adjusting your own behaviors to avoid conflict between you and them, when this happens most of the time that means it's them and not you.
Every relationship has good and bad days but when bad days start outnumbering the good ones, it's time to move on. When a relationship is making you question your priorities or forcing you to make changes that cause you to compromise on your individuality, is a good time to quit. Being stressed due to your relationship, the inability to sleep triggers your anxiety, and feeling irritable around your partner are additional signs that you should consider questioning why are stuck and staying.
Being able to spot their harmful behaviors is the first step one needs to learn to minimize their impact. Learning about toxic people may not change what they do but you will change how you work through it and not allow it to affect your quality of life. Every experience in life gives you the opportunity to learn and rise from its challenges - to choose different paths or choose to stay stuck in unhealthy pasts. You decide each day how you are going to show up for yourself.
Without sounding too spiritual, we each have an assignment here and we can choose how we handle these assignments. The most important assignment we have is showing up. Once you decide to show up, your old stories and experience become the past, because you've made the choice to be in your power and change your life.
So how do you do this?
Step 1. Take a clear look at your life; identify your trauma and fears.
Step 2. Recognize that if you don't work on yourself, you will stay stuck and you will continue your patterns.
Step 3. Be kind to yourself; don't find fault and blame. You are learning to be the best you can be.
Step 4. Learn to own your role in life. You can't control what other people do. You are the only one that can make it better.
Step 5. Don't focus on fixing the other person.
Step 6. Remember that finding fault in others is work for yourself. No matter how someone treats and talks to you - you allow this.
Step 7. Show up for you each day.
Let's begin to learn about you.
