British People you don't know how kind you are

This is the story of a how an ordinary Korean girl, growing up in a typical, anxiety-ridden family in Seoul, still bearing the financial and cultural scars of the Korean War, gave up on the unobtainable goal of being a dutiful daughter and instead risked everything for the man she loved, Phil.

It proves that great love stories are not confined to Hollywood blockbusters but can be found on construction sites in Incheon and flourish in suburban Reading.

It tells how Eunyoung faced familial shame by not being able to get a job but overcame it by learning English and applying for a job as an interpreter, that in she felt unqualified for. Then more 'shame' for her family ensued as she did the unthinkable and took off with the foreign Englishman.

Their horror and confusion of her marrying him and living in England though was short lived, as she qualified as a Maths teacher, had a son and wrote three books on British life that were published in Korea, which her mother could proudly parade before her friends. Mrs Kim could, finally, out-boast all her friends with tales of her daughter!

Then Phil was diagnosed with cancer. The tone of the book changes. We know that the outcome will be heart-breaking, but the journey is where the real love story is taken to new heights of steadfast determination laced with pragmatism.

The theme running through the book is of the kindness that Eunyoung experienced in all aspects of her life in the UK. From teenaged students agreeing to keep her up to speed with British swear words, so she would recognise them in class, to neighbours bringing meals to make sure she ate in the horrible days following Phil's death.

The kindnesses that Eunyoung felt were mirrored by the enthusiasm that she infectiously showed for the British way of life whilst being keen to share Korean culture, particularly Korean cooking, with her British friends. She really did reap what she sowed.

Her story is one of big emotions. I was engrossed in her story, finding myself feeling shocked, saddened, happy, uplifted and finally bereaved.

A love story - not only of Eunyoung and Phil, but of Eunyoung and the enduring friendships she has made here in the UK. Any kindnesses she received were repaid ten-fold.

Review by Sally Oakley

I first met Eunyoung when, as Head of Mathematics, I interviewed her for a teaching position in the department. Even at that point, her humour, common sense and passion to help young people progress in their mathematical journey were obvious and made our decision to appoint her an easy one! I still remember her response when we were exploring whether she understood the commitment and hard work required; "I'm Korean, what you think of as hard work does not compare to what I am used to."

Now that I have read, British People, You Don't Know How Kind You Are, I have a greater understanding of what she meant. Eunyoung proved herself to be a fantastic, dedicated and caring Maths teacher as well as a generous, supportive, friendly and diligent team player in the department. Students are inspired by her and love her "funny ways" that help them to understand and remember the mathematics they are learning.

This beautiful, moving and often laugh out loud autobiography is a delight to read. How refreshing to hear of ways in which other education systems could learn from the positives of UK education, instead of the other way around. How lovely to be reminded of the kindness ordinary British people often demonstrate, instead of the stories that usually make the headlines. What a tribute to Phil.

Eunyoung describes how we in the UK cannot pronounce her Korean name properly and use "onion" as the closest equivalent. The many hidden layers of Eunyoung that she shares so heart-warmingly in this book, show that perhaps we have got her name right after all!

Review by Elaine Cook