The Cat I Know

RIPPED FROM THE SPORTS HEADLINES! As art generally imitates life as in the movie, Concussion; an American biographical sports thriller and medical drama film starring Will Smith portraying Bennet Omalu as a forensic pathologist who fought against efforts by National Football League to suppress his research on the brain damage (CTE) suffered by professional football players -- Joi Artis-Williams shares her personal story about in her memoir: The Cat I Know: Diary of a Ballplayers Ex-Wife. Joi writes, "Former players are usually the ones who tell their stories, yet you rarely hear spouses speak of how it affects the family as a unit. Nor will you hear the full story. Like the dirt under the fingernails truth about how they really feel and the struggles many of them face transitioning from football player to a man who played football, husband and father. Not sure if it's due to the socialization of the N.F.L., which says smile, be ready on Sunday, be larger than life and don't say anything to embarrass the organization. Or because they ARE supposed to be larger than life and feel if they said something people would look at them differently. Like maybe they were weak, when in reality it shows they are human and are not exempt from life's trials and tribulations. Nobody is. Others may not say anything because they love the game so much, speaking against it is taboo. While others don't understand something is going on with them, let alone have the words to explain what that something is. One reason I know for sure is, most people really don't care. They're interested in the benefits, an autograph, picture or conversation about football; what's happening with the team now, draft picks, etc. Then there are others who want to shake their hands, grabbing them too tight to show their "man-ness" not thinking there may be arthritis wrapped inside that handshake. Once the locker is cleaned out for the final time, many players struggle. Many families struggle. I'm not talking about finances, although that can become a problem too. I'm talking about all the other things, like body aches, arthritis, surgeries, depression, pain meds, C.T.E., loss of identity, camaraderie and more. I'm sharing our struggles so they can help someone's family avoid the pitfalls some face after the game leaves them behind. Which is does us all, sooner or later. I will share the good, bad, ugly and lessons learned. It is my hope this book will get more conversations going within the N.F.L. and within 'Off The Field', the wives organization. There are some things only someone who speaks fluent N.F.L. would understand. The Players know the N.F.L. stands for "Not For Long", but my hope is more families make it to the "other side" in one piece; turning the N.F.L.'s Not For Long into Now Finally Living."