Welcome.
Come amuse yourself in the company of slime-dripping vagina jaws, Aboriginal ABBA tribute bands and Deliverance-quoting parrots.
This trio of politically incorrect comedies, which bleakly focus on male inadequacy and misogyny, will introduce you to a bunch of chronic misfits kicking around Wales, Australia and South Korea.
But be warned - you might grow to like some of them.
Just make sure you don't leave this little encyclopaedia of dysfunction on your maiden aunt's chair...
Book 1: Looking For Sarah Jane Smith
Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex.
But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy.
Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after...
Looking for Sarah Jane Smith - For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish.
Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate The Inbetweeners, Peep Show and Bill Hicks.
Book 2: Manic Streets of Perth
Perth.
It's thousands of miles from anywhere, it's got a rubbish Bell Tower and not enough of the laidback locals are being eaten by sharks.
Well, that's what expat reporter Paul Lewis thinks, but after a lonely Manic Street Preachers fan reveals her disastrously unlucky life suddenly nothing's the same...
Manic Streets of Perth - Where a snake-wielding robber is just the start of your troubles.
Gentler and warmer than Dave Franklin's other novels, Manic Streets is an easy to read comedy.
Book 3: English Toss on Planet Andong
Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools.
One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of training isn't much of a help, but it's the baffling natives and unhinged flatmates that really start to convince him he's crash-landed in another galaxy...
Packed with over the top characters, English Toss is a demented sitcom of a novel that revels in the extremes of expat dislocation.
Total length: 240,000 words.
Dave Franklin is the author of eight novels and four collections of short stories, none of which should be read to small children at bedtime. His caustic, profanity-laced prose should be approached with caution.
