There's nothing pleasant about going to the dentist, especially when your dentist slaps you across the face. Welcome to Medical Medical: 101 Essays on Medical Mishaps ... and more. From the dentist who struck me suddenly and without warning while fitting me for a retainer to the hospital that left a yard of gauze tucked into my mother's vagina after surgery, Medical Medical is the true story, or 101 true stories, about what happens when health and medicine go slightly askew. From Medical Medical: 101 Essays on Medical Mishaps: Shortly after coming to the United States from overseas, my great-uncle entered the hospital for pneumonia. He was very sick, and doctors didn't know if he would survive. Fortunately, he did survive, and the experience gave him more than one tale to tell.
Thanks to medical care and complete bedrest, my great-uncle began feeling better, and soon, he could leave the hospital.
On the day they discharged him from the hospital, a nurse brought a wheelchair into his room. She said something to him in English, but my great-uncle didn't speak English. He only spoke Portuguese.
No one who worked at the hospital spoke Portuguese.
The nurse waved her hands around and pointed at the wheelchair to help him understand what she was saying. Then she pointed her finger down the hallway toward the elevator. She wanted him to get in the wheelchair so she could roll him to the front door of the hospital where his ride was waiting. It was hospital protocol.
My great-uncle nodded and smiled happily, convinced he got the message loud and clear. The only problem was the message he had received wasn't the same message the nurse had attempted to send thanks to a language barrier.
Eager to prove that he was strong enough to go home, my great-uncle picked up the wheelchair and hoisted it above his head. Then he marched briskly down the hallway toward the elevator. He thought that's what the nurse wanted him to do.
My great-uncle was a powerful man with muscles that he had honed through hard manual labor working in the fields. Even a battle with pneumonia hadn't sapped all his strength. That wheelchair was no match for his strength and determination.
He heard the nurse laughing and chattering as she followed him down the hall and tried to catch up with him, but he did not know that she was calling out for him to stop and put down the wheelchair. As far as he knew, he was doing a great job proving himself.
Just as he reached the elevator, the doors slid open. His wife stepped into the hallway, took one look at her husband, and burst into laughter. Fortunately, she spoke English, and she could translate for her husband and the flustered nurse.
My great-aunt explained to the nurse that her husband thought she wanted him to carry the wheelchair from his hospital room to the end of the hall to prove he was fit enough to go home. Then she told my great-uncle to put down the chair and sit in it so they could finally leave the hospital.
The nurse accompanied my great-uncle to the front door of the hospital as planned. She could have let my great-aunt handle him, but she probably wanted to ensure he didn't try hoisting the wheelchair above his head again.
