Here is an intensely practical approach to Conflict Resolution for dedicated counsellors and pastors as well as the lay person. It uses the two issues of a. one-to-one counselling and b. written communication-both in a rather unique way-with 100% success!-This 213 page e-book covers Family Conflict, Marriage Conflict, Church Conflict.-It addresses the principles of Conflict Resolution from the biblical bases.-The methodologies are fully explained, and warnings are illustrated in regard to Rushing to Judgment.-Clear explanatory notations.Many a person will explode in frustration: "I can't do it any more. Nobody will listen. There's no end in sight. I'm finished." This is a common complaint of people driven to despair. It doesn't matter what the cause of the despair, but the potential for extreme action to try to gain attention-to be heard-as a last ditch desperate effort, is disturbing. The greatest difficulty with trying to help these people is the possibility of (inter alia): -much hysterical overreaction, -exaggerated stories to try to be convincing, -raising of all types of issues that are extraneous to the immediate situation, -threats of suicide or murder-extremes to try to highlight the desperation of the case, -cyclic rehearsing of stories with no forward progress to a conclusion, -summoning the "sure-fire" point-scoring triggers from years ago, -AND in addition, often the projection of personal guilt into the situation, leading to either: -bitter condemnation of the other person (in order to try to cover for personal sins), or -avoidance of the real issues for fear of confronting the shortcoming of others (in order to steer away from one's own guilt). Most pastors carefully avoid these conflict situations, rationalising that they are called to preach and teach, many refusing even the simplest visitation, let alone any counselling, especially if it is time-consuming-even if effective. Over more than forty years of pastoral care and counselling, I have come to benefit from some proven strategies that have had lasting results with great benefit to those concerned. The process is simple and efficient, but requires pastoral commitment, and a love for people. It requires care and exactness, careful listening, and the willingness to devote time to help those in need. But the results are worth it: -for the persons concerned, both in themselves as well as in their resultant effectiveness in various roles as parents and/or spouses; in their work environments; and in church ministry, -for the immediate family and others who have been affected by the dysfunctional relationship, -for you as the pastor in seeing people adjusted and happy and functional again. This is a significant part of the pastoral role, and a source of fulfilment.
About the Author: BACKGROUND, TRAINING Rev Dr David A Swincer is an ordained Baptist Minister, having served almost 40 years in pastoral ministry, including 13 years as a seminary professor. Raised on a sheep farm in South Australia, David developed a strong sense of the practicalities of life, and this experience has been invaluable in his pastoral and lecturing experience. He originally trained as a secondary school teacher, specializing in mathematics and science. He acquired a B.A. degree and Secondary Teaching Diploma. He taught for 4 years full-time. The unmistakable call to Pastoral Ministry led to training in the New South Wales Baptist Theological Seminary, where he did post-graduate study, gaining a B.D. and Dip. R.E. After 8 years of Pastoral Ministry, he moved to the Seminary Position, specializing in New Testament - especially Greek exegesis. Circumstances meant that he also lectured widely in other areas, undertaking some lecturing in OT exegesis, Modern Church History, overview of theology, and a special emphasis in pastoral subjects (including writing several papers on associated topics, notably a Pre-marriage Counseling Course; Marriage Enrichment; Conflict resolution). He pursued strong personal interest in the nature and practice of worship. A pastor at heart, Dr Swincer loved to see the practical side of careful exegesis and theological education. During this time he undertook M.A. and Doctoral studies. His whole ministry has been marked by a willingness to think laterally, and to challenge common presuppositions, in the search for the truth. His books strongly challenge traditional positions that seem to be held unthinkingly. That will be a challenge to the reader! MINISTRY Dr Swincer served in pastoral ministry for nine years before moving into seminary education for 13 years. During the latter part of that time he simultaneously pastored a church before returning to the full-time pastoral ministry - an extra 18 years. In addition, there have been several interim pastorates. Coupled with research and study, he had the opportunity to travel and to undertake several preaching/teaching/evangelistic tours. All these opportunities have provided a rich and diverse background of experience that equips him for the balance of theological and practical writing which has always been simmering in the background.