A excerpt from chapter: Princess and Jell-O get engaged then Married She took his hand and took him into the bedroom and helped him get his clothes off and then her own, She taped the marriage license onto the mirror and then put herself and him into bed, and went to sleep. She woke up slightly when she heard cupboard doors clanking in the kitchen and then she fell asleep again. When she woke again it was quite light out and she was alone in bed. she felt under the covers and as far as she could tell everything she had when she got into bed was still there. She wrapped herself in a robe and went into the kitchen. There were a clean bowl and cup and spoon in the dish drainer, still slightly wet. Princess thought a minute then called the PD and asked for Wedgie. Wedgie got on the phone. 'Princess, what's up?' 'is Jell-O there?' 'yes he is you want me to put him on the phone?' I don't think so. Not yet. ' 'has something happened? 'we got engaged the day before yesterday.' 'congratulations! I am happy for you. I told you it would happen.' 'And then yesterday we got married.'' 'well that was fast! Funny he hasn't mentioned it. 'Then I woke up alone still a virgin.' Think fast, Wedgie thought, then said, 'not again. We get 2,3, calls a month. A bride wakes all alone and we find her husband forgot he was married, no bedroom light on and he shaved in the bathroom with the door closed then goes to work . it is called 'marital amnesia'. Boy is the guy embarrassed when he remembers. Look let me handle it like we usually do, OK?' 'I would appreciate that-and remind him to get to the boar roast or I won't be able to explain it to dad.' 'listen, the best way to handle it is to greet him sweetly when you see him, and never mention it even happened. He will get around to bringing it up in a week or so, probably bring roses. Can I invite everyone to the roast? Most of these guys never ate boar.' 'dad would like that.' Ok so you take a hot bath and do you have anything there with alcohol? ' A jar of something probably 'the regular stuff 'clan brew. 'well take it in the bathtub. I have to get off now-see you at the roast tonight.' Wedgie went to Jell-O 's office. The door was open as usual. She knocked on the jamb and walked in. 'just got another one of those marital amnesia calls, a guy gets married goes home to bed wakes up and doesn't turn the light on, and goes to work. Hours later he realizes he totally forgot he was married.' 'We get calls like that?' he said with a slight glimmer of hope in his eyes. 'no we don't! but I just saved your behind saying we get them all the time. I told the virgin princess'...he winced hearing that...'that the way to handle it was not mention it at all, be sweet and you would bring roses when you are able to talk about it. 'And she wants you to invite the whole police department to the boar roast tonight. Think you can do that?' 'I'm not sure.' OK stand up and step out of the office...everyone, our fearless leader had a big surprise for us. He got married on his day off and everyone is invited to a boar roast tonight. You can take turns with your partner and take an hour off for the roast. I will put a map on the board how to get there, ' Everyone clapped whistled and made cat calls for the appropriate amount of time before returning to work. She followed Jell-O back into his office, and stood as he sat back down behind his desk. 'you should take off an hour early in case you need extra time to have an argument. Ok to wear your uniform and try to smile.' Or take off two hours early and consummate your marriage before the party.' 'could I ask you one question? Do you know who my father in law is?' 'well lets see, who could have a daughter that is a princess? Oh I know, King Bevo and Queen Thaddyflak And When you get there kiss your wife a long, long time in front of everyone. And if that girl is still a virgin tomorrow you may as
About the Author: I have a problem writing bios. And in the case of the three fictional books in the Borderline Bigfoot series this bio is for, Cicely's deflowering ritual, Chatsworth's Women, and this one, Ogam Cicatrices, they represent an account of fictional people in groups that actually exist in undocumented populations all over the world. if you go to YouTube and do a search for 'Thinking at Bigfoot', then go to the channel page and see some of my the videos it tells a story that I am still living. My videos are not well done but they tell what happened. Half of what happened is not there and I intend to do a book on the whole thing, plus what has recently begun again. The three books. were sent to me in a mind dump I type like mad and later read what it says. I argue that I did not write the books, I only wrote then down. Someone on Coast to Coast AM said that he and fellow scientists determined that such books come from the future when you ( or someone else or you as a self that you are not in this world, ) did write them. Well if that is so them I have to take credit for them and also for the really nasty stuff I regularly delete from them. But anyone who takes a vote of people he considers credible and thinks that that establishes truth is stupid. I am not and never have been that stupid. I may find data that supports my beliefs, but I never assume my opinions are facts. If people work together doing true investigation we may get closer to a truth we can use. Once I had an e-list where people whose vets sent their dogs home to die, after failing to cure them, experimented on what would help dogs that stopped eating, begin again and return to normal health. We found three things that worked. Partly defrosted raw turkey burger that was bought frozen in tubes, real butter and Redmond's sea salt. People would ask me why those things worked and I told them WE JUST SEE THEY WORK. For me to guess why, and for them to consider that my guess was a fact to be used as part of their deciding whether WORKING is a good enough reason to try it on their dogs, would be idiotic. I think there is something important in these books besides entertainment. They are stories of our culture blending with another one that I believe exists. Sometime the old ways are smarter than the new ones. If we do not reject information without consideration it for stupid reasons, we may find wisdom there that may make us better people here. That is who I am.