I had everything I wanted; a great job as a deputy sheriff and then a sailor in the US Navy, but I let addiction talk me out of all of it. I gave up trying to fight it and let the rebel in me have its way. The things I did to stay drunk or one step ahead of the law were incredible and still surreal to me now. When I could no longer avoid the consequences of my actions I found myself homeless. Stealing from my friends and family and devising new schemes to feed my addiction was how I planned every day. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I just didn't care anymore. By now, I had stopped trying to resist it and resigned myself to a life of living on the streets. Hoping the winter's frozen grip would just take me away one night. When life wouldn't erase me, then I tried to do it myself. I couldn't believe I let it get this far. Life however wasn't done with me yet. When I was forced to decide between life and death, I had chosen life. From that moment on I have never touched alcohol again, over eleven years ago. The journey from being terrified on those first days of sobriety to a strength I have never known before was incredible. I had to learn emotions all over again, but this time with a clear head. The sober life I couldn't fathom when I was drinking was taking shape, and I was finally becoming the man God intended me to be. Strong and humbly confident, I have come a long ways in healing and forgiving myself. I got the highest paying job I have ever had, and even opened my own wildlife/nature photography business. I hope that in sharing my story, I can reach someone else who might feel that hope is lost and change is impossible. When you think life has nothing left to offer and you have reached your bottom or the end of your options then read this. The choices I made, both bad and good are what put me where I was and where I am. We are amazingly stronger than we give ourselves credit for and when you tap into that strength, then every door opens for you. My story is an example of that, from giving up to standing up. Even though some of my experiences embarrass me, and I should hide them away in my psyche I choose instead to share. In turn, I hope reach someone out there who feels completely alone in the world. It doesn't have to be an addiction that haunts us; it can be anything that feels like the weight of the world. I hope to chase away any thoughts of isolation and loneliness someone might have by my example. I felt completely alone on the streets and in life, but once I learned of others in life that had similar plights then the oppression of loneliness was lifted. I pray I can reach someone else like that and keep hope alive. I will gladly play the part of a germ if it makes hope an infectious disease!