Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

Horace Catchpole is an only son who was brought up in a single-parent family in Wigan. He is 28-years-old and still lives in the same house as he has always lived with his mother, Melissa. Melissa is a woman who dislikes her son intensely and is cruel and greedy in disposition. She has always ill-treated Horace and has reared and treated him far worse than any other Cinderella ever experienced at the hands of a tyrannical mother-figure. While the frugal Melissa lives well herself, she does so at the expense of making other economies in her life where Horace is concerned. Horace is clothed in rags and ill-fitting garments and is forced to eat scraps and left-overs. He sleeps on a bed without sheets and in a dark room. All of his day is devoted to fetching, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing and slaving for his mother. Along with his fair share of daily beatings, Horace's life is very unhappy and without any sense of meaning. His mother has controlled him totally since he was born and ruled him with an iron hand that he is no longer able to think for himself and comes across as an apology for a creature; a wimp of a man. Then the day comes when his mother sells him to another woman who wants to marry a submissive man who will carry out her will without question. Horace marries Mildred Savage, a twice-married twice- widowed woman whose monstrous personality and cruel and greedy character traits matches those of Horace's mother. Horace fares no better under his monstrous wife than he did under his mother. Then, in order to save money, both women propose that all three of them live together. With two matriarchal monsters in the house giving out their orders to Horace, his life remains as bad if not worse than before. Initially, the two monstrous women feign false compliments and friendship in order to wheedle themselves into each other's confidences in the hope that they can discover where each keeps their savings so they can rob them. Eventually, they find that they are unable to keep up their pretence and household hostilities break out with the hapless Horace in the middle. They eventually decide to kill each other and doom beckons until Horace finds his courage and the worm begins to turn. Horace Catchpole and Two Crude Dames is one of my most favourite stories. It gave me enormous pleasure to write and it is suitable for any reader from twelve to adulthood. It is set in Wigan in the early 1960's. The two monstrous women in Horace's life are a composite of every horrible and obnoxious woman that any man has ever come across. Imagine the worse kind of mother a chap could possibly have and the worse type of wife he could ever marry and then imagine trying to live under the same roof with each monstrous giving out their contradictory orders. That is what Horace Catchpole had to tolerate.
About the Author: William Forde was born in Ireland and now lives in Haworth, West Yorkshire, England with his wife Sheila. He has 5 children and is the author of 64 published books and 2 musical plays which are now available as Ebooks. One of West Yorkshire's most popular children's authors, his books were publicly read in over 2000 Yorkshire school assemblies by over 800 famous names and celebrities from the realms of Royalty, Film, Stage, Screen, Politics, Church, Sport between 1990 and 2002. The late Princess Diana read his earlier books to her then young sons, William and Harry. The late Nelson Mandela once phoned him to praise an African storybook he wrote. Others who have supported his works include 3 Princesses, 3 Prime Ministers, 2 Presidents and numerous Bishops of the realm. Former Chief Inspector of Schools for Ofsted, the late Chris Woodhead described his writings to the press as 'high-quality literature.' Always at the forefront of change, he became the youngest Youth Leader and Trade Union Shop Steward in Great Britain at 18. In 1971, he founded Anger Management in Great Britain and freely gave his courses to the world. In the next 2 years, Anger Management courses mushroomed across the English-speaking world. In the mid-70s, he introduced Relaxation Training into HM Prisons. Between 1970 and 1995, he worked as a Probation Officer specialising in Relaxation Training, Anger and Stress Management, and Assertive Training Group Work introducing Relaxation Training groups into HM Prisons and many other establishments. He retired early due to ill health in 1995 to further his writing career. This led him to work with the Minister of Youth and Culture in Jamaica establishing a trans-Atlantic pen-pal project between 64 primary schools in Falmouth, Jamaica and Yorkshire. William was awarded the MBE in the 1995 New Year's Honours List for services to West Yorkshire. He has never sought to materially profit from the publication of his books and all profit from their sales (approx £200,000 between 1990 and 2002) were given to charity. His latest stories are romantic and are published for adults under the generic title of "Tales from Portlaw". However, his last two books have been 'strictly for adult' novels set in Northern England, where he has lived most of his life. In 2013, William Forde learned that he had a terminal illness (CLL) for which he is presently undergoing treatment.