Widower: When Men are Left Alone

In "Widower: When Men are Left Alone", a journalist and a social worker explore the grief process as men experience it. The book contains the oral histories of twenty men, ranging in age from 30 to 94, who have lost their wives to a range of causes including cancer, alcohol, murder, and suicide. Taken together, the stories guide the reader through the journey of widowhood, from the raw despair of the early weeks to the resolved perspective thirteen years later, offered by the only true authority on the subject - the men who have survived it.

Table of Contents:
INTRODUCTION TO THIS NEW EDITION WHAT HAPPENS TO MEN WHEN THEIR MATES DIE GEORGE: The First Few Months Dealing with anger and disbelief, with the lack of carnal comfort and with inept expressions of sympathy SAM AND JIM: Relying on Religion and Work The values and dangers of familiar structures JAN: A Murder in the Family The strength of the tribe and of solitude, coping with the children's loss, and making a quick reliance HANK: When a Wife Takes Her Own Life Coming to grips with suicide through a replacement wife as grieving agent MARK: Widowed Under Thirty Generational differences, and the danger of escaping depression by making a quick recommitment RANDY: Turning to the Bottle Bereavement as a catalyst for self destruction and resurrection KARL: Finding New Friends Turning to people outside your circle and finding you have something new to offer JAKE, FRAN, MIKE, AND JERRY: Keeping Company A Transcript of a bereavement group BILL: When Your Wife is Your Whole Life In the process of re-peopling your life, sometimes a psychiatrist can help JOE: Married for Life, and Longer Living in the past even when you're active in the present GORDON: Ambivalence in Bereavement The Complications of grieving a wife who slowly destroyed herself can inhibit efforts to start a new life MURRAY: Anticipatory Grief The incremental mourning of long-term illness, the difficulty of talking about it, and finally taking advantage of new freedoms DEREK: Assisted Suicide The special challenge of sharing responsibility for a wife's death ROGER: A Transformation of Values In seeking the wisdom of other widowers, finding new wisdom in one's self LOU: Enjoying Life After Death Learning to be happy again, alone but not lonely, without feeling guilty PETER: The Ultimate Transcendence Overcoming the limitations of society and of the self to grow into a new kind of man?€”developmentally, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually WHEN MEN ARE LEFT ALONE SELF-HELP ORGANIZATIONS AND READINGS