You Couldn't Make It Up! by John Dearnley Collins
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You Couldn't Make It Up!

You Couldn't Make It Up!


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About the Book

Set mainly in London during the 1930's, '40's, '50's and early '60's, the book recalls the extraordinary early life, recollections and experiences of a seemingly ordinary man.Born out of a chance conversation, the more we talked, the more I delved, the more fascinated I became, the more certain that John's story needed to be recorded, deserved to be told. Sometimes we laughed 'till we cried. Sometimes we just cried. Sometimes he'd sit there practically splitting his sides before he could even get the words out to tell me what he was finding so funny.John's ability to recall detail from a very early age is remarkable, perhaps stimulated by his extraordinary experiences. From the demise of the Crystal Palace through pre-war, war-torn and post-war London, John recalls in vivid detail the sights, sounds and even the smells of his beloved city and the characters who inhabited it.Having been fostered out aged 8 months, to being reunited with his parents aged 4, John's life is anything but ordinary. Things are looking up when his dad gets a job as a road sweep, except it's now 1939 and war is looming. Along with thousands of other kids, John is labeled up and evacuated from London to Ardingly. He is just 5 years old. Sometimes bullied, more often lonely and craving affection, he finds solace in the most unexpected of circumstances. His encounters with Canadian and British soldiers and Italian POW's are mostly uplifting and heart-warming. John's revelations of what it was like to be a child evacuee leave a lasting impression. The war had such an impact on London, its people and not least, John himself, that it rightly takes centre stage, including his personal encounters with a doodlebug which destroyed his London home, a stray bomb in his evacuee village of Ardingly and various 'episodes' of the Battle of Britain which played out in the skies above his head.Back in war-torn London, the impact of the bombing, his experiences in an underground air raid shelter and his revelations when eventually the war ends will shock you. In reality the rollercoaster ride that was his life has only just begun and yet it could so easily have ended aged just 13 years, when he literally 'dies'. A born survivor, having left school at 15 with no qualifications, miraculously the dawning of the 1950's sees John working at London's Stock Exchange by day and performing as a dance band drummer by night. Everything is going so well until his mother suffers a mental breakdown, resulting in incarceration in a mental institution. The effects on his mother, his family and John himself make painful but compelling reading.The rude awakening of life as a conscript in the army is followed by a blossoming career as a professional musician, where he meets his future bride. Sadly there is no room for two loves in his life and his beloved drums have to go and with them his music career. The mid 1950's sees John as a conductor and then driver of a big red London bus. After many extraordinary encounters with everyone from Winston Churchill to the inmates of Wandsworth Prison, the book ends with John aged 29 embarking on a new career and promising a sequel to come.Now 83, John has a new love in his life and of his book he says, "If you only ever read one biography in your life, make an old man happy, make it this one." Having written it, I think it would make a great film, but I'll let you be the judge of that when you've read it. Now use the Amazon 'Look Inside' feature to dip into it and read a few pages, but be warned, you'll get hooked if you do.
About the Author: Born in September 1949, John Collins is a product of the 'post-war baby boom'. He maintains that the Honours Degree and Post-Grad qualifications he has aren't nearly so relevant to his ability to write as the earlier influences of his English Teachers at the Ernest Bailey Grammar School he attended in the 60's. Now technically retired, John is a swallow. 'What's that?' I hear you ask - apart from a bird that can't cope with English winters, preferring to fly thousands of miles to South Africa every Autumn and all the way back again every Spring rather than saving all that energy and just battening down the hatches. Like the swallows, John and his wife Michaela leave their home in Matlock, Derbyshire, before the onset of Winter and fly south to Mossel Bay, South Africa, to be welcomed 'back home' by the many friends they have made in the Rainbow Nation they love so much. Never ones for conformity, John and his wife have traveled the globe and, whilst undoubtedly "Derbyshire born and Derbyshire bred" he may be "strong in the arm" but, as you will discover reading his book, he's decidedly not "weak in the head!" But don't take my word for it. Read a sample - then you'll see what I mean.


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9781544070520
  • Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • Publisher Imprint: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • Height: 229 mm
  • No of Pages: 470
  • Spine Width: 24 mm
  • Weight: 671 gr
  • ISBN-10: 1544070527
  • Publisher Date: 25 Apr 2017
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: English
  • Returnable: N
  • Sub Title: The Life of John Victor Wattley
  • Width: 152 mm

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